Did you know what color carrots were originally? They were originally purple, yellow, or red. It wasn’t until about 500 years ago (16th century) that the Dutch crossbred yellow and red carrots to produce the color that we know today of Orange.
Now some of you might wonder what that has to do with our message today on “Reactivating the Family.” And the answer is absolutely nothing! And yet we wanted to review the importance of Thinking Orange and as we focus this month on combining the color of red (which represents the family) and yellow (which represents the church), we discover orange, which is the color that represents a combined influence in the world to make a difference in the helping children and teens live lives shaped and led by God!
This morning, we are going to look at a fantastic story in the Bible that will help us recognize a parallel path to “Reactivate the Family” and influence our children and teens to Love God and Love People! We are going to examine the incredible leadership of a guy named Nehemiah.
Nehemiah lived about 450 years before Christ walked on the earth. He was a Jewish man who was living in the powerful ancient country of Persia (modern day Iran). Nehemiah, we will learn was living in Persia because his family’s native city of Jerusalem was destroyed almost 140 years earlier originally by Babylon (which was located in Modern day Iraq), only to be later taken over by the nation of Persia (in modern day Iran).
While Nehemiah is in captivity serving the King of Persia, he learns that although some of his fellow Jews had returned to Jerusalem, the city remained in shambles after being destroyed more than 100 years earlier! We read in the first chapter of the Bible book, Nehemiah, that the title character receives bad news (or a bad report) about the condition of Jerusalem. Let’s read it together as Nehemiah …
Recognize the Problem
They said to me, “Things are not going well for those who returned to the province of Judah. They are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem has been torn down, and the gates have been destroyed by fire.”
When I heard this, I sat down and wept. In fact, for days I mourned, fasted, and prayed to the God of heaven. Nehemiah 1:3-4 NLT
I don’t know about you, but I am impressed with the heart of Nehemiah! Nehemiah had a heart for God and His People. He was deeply troubled by the condition of the capital of his homeland, Jerusalem, which was also the focus of their worship of God!
This past weekend I attended the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit, which was a gathering of church and business leaders all over the world. One of the main speakers, an African- American Woman from Chicago, named Brenda Salter McNeil, moved my heart as she called the crowd to allow our hearts to be broken by the things that breaks God’s Heart!
So I have made it my commitment to pray every day, that I will love the things that God loves; hate the things that God hates, and have my heart broken by the things that breaks God’s heart!!! Will you join me in praying that prayer? (Let’s Pray that Prayer together right now.)
I am convinced that one thing that breaks God’s heart is the weakening fabric of families!
Approximately 1/3 of the people living within 20 minutes of where we now sit are 18 years of age or younger; and we have to ask ourselves are they spiritually prepared for the challenges ahead that life will bring! With the problems that our region faces with social pressures such as materialism, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, cutting, destructive cliques, bullying, teen pregnancy, depression and suicide, we have to admit that many are not prepared to even face the teen years.
For some of us we need to assess the strength of our own families and the present spiritual condition of our family, children and teens. Now don’t get me wrong, I am encouraged by many of the children and teens in this church, who are growing in their love for God. And yet we must recognize the problem that exists in many families and for many young people in this community and surrounding communities.
In face of the challenge that laid ahead for Nehemiah, he did the only wise thing … he turned to the LORD in prayer! And I would encourage you to read this amazing prayer of Nehemiah recorded in chapter 1 verses 5-11, so that you can read this prayer of praise, confession, thanks, and remembrance (which sounds like it could have been taken directly out of our song, “Your Grace is Enough.” “Remember your promises!”). [And by the way as I mention the importance of reading this prayer, it is a great reason to bring your Bible to our Worship Gatherings, so that you can always read the context of every verse that we read together.] But in light of our focus this morning, let’s zero in on the last portion of this powerful prayer, in which Nehemiah specifically prays for SUCCESS! Let’s read this bold prayer as Nehemiah:
Pray for Success
O Lord, please hear my prayer! Listen to the prayers of those of us who delight in honoring you. Please grant me success today by making the king favorable to me. Put it into his heart to be kind to me.” In those days I was the king’s cup-bearer. Nehemiah 1:11 NLT
Did you know it was OK to pray for success?! It is OK for us to pray for success in school, at work, in relationships, and in our families. … And of course the question that begs to be asked is … What is successful? I think we get some insight into that question from the context here because Nehemiah is one who had as his greatest delight to honor the LORD in everything! That is why I believe true success is defined as being & becoming what God designed you to become!
From time to time, I drop by our new worship and community center (show picture), walk inside, and pray that we would be successful in honoring God as we move into our new worship and community center. And I want to encourage you to stop by sometime (preferably the workers aren’t working) and pray for the LORD to be honored in this new facility!!
And as we prepare to start another school year (and students I hate to tell you that this is your last full week before school start … but just be thankful you don’t live in Indiana, because most of their schools have already started), it is OK to pray for success in your pursuits in school. And it is also a great time to kick off a new initiative here at Southwest Church and that is to have an organized approach to be praying for our jr high and high school students. And we would love for you to consider signing up today (on the communication card) to be a prayer sponsor for one of our teen students, and that you will commit to pray every day for this particular teen! Let’s pray boldly for success in our own lives and in our ministry to children and teens.
Not only did Nehemiah pray, but he was willing to …
Take Personal Responsibility
As the king’s cup-bearer, Nehemiah served in the trusted role of testing the King of Persia’s wine prior to him drinking it to make sure that he wasn’t poisoned by a political enemy. Pretty cool role unless there was an assassination attempt. After Nehemiah told the King of Persia the condition of Jerusalem ….
The king asked, “Well, how can I help you?”
With a prayer to the God of heaven, I replied, “If it please the king, and if you are pleased with me, your servant, send me to Judah to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried.” Nehemiah 2:4-5 NLT
I love Nehemiah’s response to the King. He didn’t say can you send a committee to evaluate the damage and develop a plan to rebuild the city. He didn’t say send someone else. Nehemiah said instead, “Send me so that I can rebuild the city!”
My fear is that many parents shift the moral and spiritual development of their children to someone else. It is easy to think that it is the school’s role to teach character and values, when the primary role lies with the parents. It is easy to think well it is the church’s role or the children’s minister or student minister to teach my kids faith and to instill in them a sense of right and wrong. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe the church has a very important role to play in the life of children, and this is why we are heavily invested in providing a strong children’s and student ministry and yet the primary role continues to remain with the parents.
One of the observations that I have noticed through the years is that sometimes when a parent is facing a difficult time with one of their preteens or teens, who for some reason is not connecting with the youth/student ministry of that church, they will sometimes think if we just switched churches then my teen will miraculously get involved and fall in love with Jesus. Now again, I am not minimizing the importance of us having a strong student ministry (and frankly I think Tony is laying a strong foundation for an every growing student ministry) and yet what I have seen play out so many times is that the parents who themselves are connected into relationships within a church leave and go to a church with a bigger youth group and often times when I check back with the family a year or two later, their children are still not plugged into a student ministry and the parents themselves are drifting in their spiritual walk. Parents, we have to be careful that we don’t communicate to our children the wrong (unhealthy) impression that if you don’t like something in a church then simply leave and find another one, as opposed to teaching our children to take personal responsibility for their spiritual growth and to even take responsibility to address a problem within a church or a specific ministry within a church.
Nehemiah was a man of action!! And as we keep reading in the book of Nehemiah he called others to …
Answer the Call (to Action)
This morning, we don’t have time to read the entire book, but if you would go back and later read this fascinating book, you will learn in chapter 2 and 3, Nehemiah mobilizes God’s people, in the face of opposition, to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. This was an incredible feat when we realize that Jerusalem was a city that had a land mass of @ 12 acres (approximately the size of the Y and Church property combined) and they together completed the wall and fortified the entire city in 52 days! Hey maybe we could start praying for our church building to be completed in 52 days from the beginning of September … that would be late October!
By the time we get to Chapter 4, we learn that Nehemiah has received quite a bit of opposition and even some discouragement from within the Jewish People. Let’s read about their progress and Nehemiah’s leadership in light of some of the opposition and challenges to others who had answered the call to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem as it is described in chapter 4:
So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart. Nehemiah 4:6 NIV
Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.”
Also our enemies said, “Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work.”
Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, “Wherever you turn, they will attack us.”
Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” Nehemiah 4:10-14 NIV
This is a great example of Godly Leadership and a great example to those of us who long to provide spiritual leadership for our families. This morning in the rest of our time together, I want to ask each parent here this morning … What kind of parent are you to your children? This morning we are going to identify four types of parents … which one best describes you?
Aware Parents
These are parents who are aware of their need to provide spiritual leadership for their children, and although they are interested in becoming better parents, they don’t really know how to begin. Often times these parents have not placed spiritual growth as a high priority in their own life, so they find it difficult to provide leadership for their children or teens. And often times as the children get older the parents become more desperate for answers and help. And yet for some aware parents they can be searching for that “magic” youth group or peer group (that we talked about earlier) to solve their parental dilemma and all of their preteen or teen’s challenges.
Involved Parents
These are parents who have started taking steps to get involved in the life of the church so that they can influence their children in a positive way. Possibly for some it is simply sending or bringing their children to church services or activities. Although a good step, Reggie Joiner the author of the book, Think Orange, writes, “There may be a belief on the part of both the church and the family that these are better parents simply because they attend church. Unfortunately, most church strategies stop here. Most leaders assume that if parents are attending adult programming and kids are plugged into kid’s programming, they have accomplished their goal of being a place where families experience spiritual growth.”
Joiner goes on to write, “These activities are like ministry placebos that make us feel better about connecting parents when nothing really changes at home.” Our goal as a church as we plan for the future is to not simply call parents to be involved in the church, but to become personally engaged in the spiritual leadership of their children not just for the one hour a week that we worship together, but the 3,000 hours during the rest of the week, that you can influence your son or daughter to love the LORD and to love and serve others!
Invested Parents
These are the parents who are devoting time and energy to partner with the church to make a difference in this world. They understand the mission of the church to Love God, Love People, Serve the Community and to Share Jesus with others and they have bought into it, and as result they are growing personally spiritually! This is a fantastic place to be as an individual and as a parent and yet it is important that these parents not fall into the trap of thinking that if I devote my time, my money, and my energy in the life of the church, that my children will automatically catch on and become followers of Christ as well. You see that is not always the case!
And this is why we are calling every parent here no matter what category you might have identified yourself as being up to this point, to become an…
Engaged Parents
Become personally engaged in the life of your children’s spiritual development. Become intentional about doing something each and every week (apart from church activities) to help your children develop spiritually. Become prayerful and passionate about your role as a spiritual leader in the life of your son and/or daughter. Joiner writes, “Just remember that parents who engage in small ways can make a big difference in the lives of their kids or teenagers.”
Maybe for some of you it begins by asking your child or teen over Sunday lunch or dinner … “what did you learn in church today?” We send home every week a little handout to encourage parents to ask your children about the value for that particular morning.
For some of us it might mean initiate praying with our children. Reading a Bible story together, or build into our schedule a family devotional once a week. Possibly for some of us it is writing out in a card a Bible verse or Bible promise or possibly for some even texting a Bible verse to our teen. Realize that we aren’t talking about necessarily spending hours in intense Bible Study, but it is important that we begin to build into the rhythm of our week intentional small ways that will impress upon our children the importance of seeking the LORD in their lives and Loving Him with all their heart, soul, mind and strength!!
In closing just as Nehemiah taught the Jewish people to fight for their family, their sons and daughters, we are each called by God to …
Fight for Your Family
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10 NIV
Closing Illustration: Reggie Joiner tells the story of a time that he had a confrontation with his 7th grade daughter. In the midst of the conversation, she said something very personal and painful to Reggie. He was so deeply hurt that he left the room, left the house, and went for a drive. About 15 minutes into the drive, his mobile phone rang and it was his daughter calling and saying, “Dad, I’m sorry, you know that I didn’t really mean what I said.” And then she continued, “Why did you leave? Why did you walk out? I need to know that our relationship is worth fighting for!” … Are you willing to fight for your family? Let’s Pray!
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